


Devoted Heart

by Anonymous



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, also because this is an snk au some people have to die there's no way around it, alternate universe: shingeki no kyojin (attack on titan), but it would be a disservice to the original series if i make them all live, childhood friends (to idiots) to lovers, don't get attached to characters, have fun enjoy (heart), i am kinda sorry honestly, if you know snk then you will know who is going to die in this fic, jilix are dumb idiot soulmates and in this fic i shall show it to you, read to find out wink wonk, undisclosed side ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 20:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The insignia of the Survey Corps, the Wings of Freedom, is a symbol of hope to the public. But sewn over their left chest pockets, it actually feels more like a promise. As a symbol of promise, it's perfect for them.When they first met at four years old, Felix promised to learn all the secrets of the world for Jisung. After a particularly nasty fight at fourteen, Jisung promised to never be the reason Felix loses his spark. And they were eighteen when they promised each other the world.The tattoo serves a reminder of their promises to each other.No matter what may come our way or wherever we end up, I dedicate my heart to you forevermore. For longer than forever, to you alone I am devoted.I love you.—alternatively: a story of moments that shaped Jisung and Felix's life together in the eyes of the various people who accompanied them there
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: Sweet & Sour Fest





	Devoted Heart

**Author's Note:**

> written for the Sweet & Sour Fest ([@sweetsourfest](https://twitter.com/sweetsourfest)) on twitter  
>  **prompt #a085** : long-term lovers get matching wrist tattoos
> 
> \---
> 
> Before reading, please read the synopsis below (copied directly from the [AoT Wiki page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attack_on_Titan#Setting)) if you do not know the AoT series:
> 
> _The plot of Attack on Titan centers on a civilization inside three walls, the last location where humans still live. Over one hundred years ago, humanity was driven to the brink of extinction after the emergence of humanoid giants called Titans, who attack and eat humans on sight. The last remnants of humanity retreated behind three concentric walls and enjoyed nearly a century of peace. To combat Titans, the nation's military employs Omni-Directional Mobility Gear, a set of waist-mounted grappling hooks and gas-powered propulsion enabling immense mobility in three dimensions._

**four.**

Lee Felix Yongbok was four years old when his family moved to Levanter Village in the Southern Region of Wall Rose, near the Miroh District. 

He hated it.

Why did they even have to move anyway? He can’t understand. His papa said it had something to do with mama’s research, but mama studies animals and plants. There were so many of those in their hometown, what made the ones in the weird new place special? He really can’t understand it.

“Stop making that face, Felix,” his older sister Eleanor says as she sits next to him on their new dining table. “If you keep frowning, it’s going to become permanent on your face.”

“Mama said to stop saying that because there’s no proof for that,” Felix retorts half-heartedly. He’s in no mood to talk with anybody right now; he’s too busy trying to be obvious of his dislike of their new house.

“Okay,” Eleanor frowns, kicking his shin lightly, “but you should still stop making that face. Pouting won’t do anything because we’re already here. Besides, mama has more opportunities to do research here than back in our old place, so it will be better for our family.”

“ _What does_ opportunities _mean?_ ”

“It means _chances_.”

“Oh, okay, thank you for explaining.” Felix is still grumpy, but his parents taught him manners. “But I still don’t understand. Why would moving give mama more opportunities? How can she study plants and animals if there are no plants and animals in our new house?”

“You’re too young to understand,” Eleanor says. While other kids his age might get mad at that, Felix’s family has always been very simple and direct with each other, so he knows his sister wasn’t insulting him. He’s just too young to understand, that’s how it is. “It’s a lot of politics and issues on urbanization, you know, social sciences. You never bothered to really learn about that, so it will be hard to explain.”

Felix was about to reply that he doesn’t want to learn about the boring-bore-bores about people when plants and animals were more interesting anyway, but then there came a knock at their door.

The siblings looked at each other in confusion before simultaneously moving to check who it could be. Both their parents were out with whatever errands Felix didn’t bother to listen to, but he knows they shouldn’t be back until before dinner time.

Eleanor opens the door just as another round of knocking sounds, cutting off whoever was behind it.

The “whoever was behind it” turned out to be two kids who look close to their age. Siblings, Felix muses from their similar noses and eye-shape. The taller of the two couldn’t be older than Eleanor; around nine at most. And the shorter one couldn’t be that much older than Felix since they had similar heights.

“Can I help you?” Eleanor asks politely, shifting her weight a bit to partially hide Felix from their view. They may not always get along, but Eleanor still loved him deeply and was therefore protective especially in front of strangers. And even if these two looked about as harmful as squirrels, you can never be too wary of townsfolk.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” the taller one greeted, not seeming to read the tense mood that befell Felix and his sister. “I’m Kyunggu, nine years old,” (so Felix’s guess _was_ right) “and this is my brother, Jisung.”

“I’m Jisung,” the younger one happily parroted. “I’m four years old, nice to meet you!” That piqued Felix’s interest and he peeked his head around his sister’s taller frame. He must have been staring so obviously because Jisung suddenly locked eyes with him, startling Felix into hiding now completely behind his sister. Eleanor, ever the observant type, saw the interaction and had to hold back a laugh.

“We live right next to you, over there,” Kyunggu continued speaking, ignorant of the events that just transpired. “Jisung and I saw you two arrive with your parents earlier and we were wondering if you wanted to be friends. There haven't been kids our age living near here since we could remember, so we thought it’d be nice if we got along!”

“That would be nice,” Eleanor smiled sincerely. “I’m Eleanor, but you can call me Miyeon if it's easier for you. And I’m eleven, but I don't mind if you speak casually with me. And the cute little guy is my brother—”

“Felix,” Felix quickly cuts in, still hidden behind his sister. His voice was soft, but firm. “Just Felix.”

“—he prefers to be called that.” Eleanor continues, already expecting that Felix would interrupt her at that point. “He’s very shy around strangers, so you have to work extra hard if you want to be friends with him. Also Felix is actually your age, Jisung.”

 _Don’t tell them that_ , Felix wanted to convey to his sister by pinching her back. She gave no outward reaction, however, so either Felix’s action was just that weak or she simply ignored him. (Either was likely.)

“Really? That’s so cool!” Jisung sounded genuine enough that Felix was willing to take another peek at their new neighbors. He locked eyes again with Jisung, but this time he forced himself to stay. “You look younger than me, though! When were you born? My birthday was just last week, September 14!”

Felix’s interest was now _more than_ piqued.

“My birthday is September 15,” Felix said sheepishly. Eleanor urged him to show himself more with a gentle hand on his back, and he found himself now standing directly in front of Jisung.

“That’s so cool!” Jisung was practically bouncing with excitement. “We’re almost twins!”

“I don’t think it works like that—”

But Jisung doesn’t hear Felix’s quiet comment and continues, “Now you and I have to be _best friends_.”

Without wasting another moment, Jisung then reaches forward and grabs Felix’s hands between his own. This action flusters Felix to make him resemble a strawberry at this point, to their older siblings’ amusement and Jisung’s fascination.

“Wow, you’re _really_ pretty.”

“T-Thank you.”

“I really like you already, Felix.” Jisung said, without faltering or stumbling over the unusual name. It may or may not have triggered a signal from Felix’s belly to spread warmth throughout his body. “Please tell me _everything_ about you.”

Felix might be just four years old, but he has heard enough fantasy stories from his parents to know what it means when he gets a really nice warm and happy feeling around a certain someone. That’s what it’s like to Felix whenever he’s around Jisung. He’s only four years old, but he knows.

He was four years old when he got his first crush.

**six.**

Kids are complicated.

 _Or rather_ , Lee Dohee corrects herself, _it’s a little ironic that adults can’t always properly communicate with kids all that well despite having been kids themselves before_.

She glances at her precious Felix who was still grumpy about not getting to play with his best friend today despite being informed about today’s plans a few days prior. They were currently seated on a two-person horse-driven-carriage en route to her former colleague living in one the more eastern villages of Wall Rose. It’s been almost two hours since they first left, still a few more hours to go, but Felix still hasn’t said a word. Almost a new record; it’s actually quite impressive.

But it was still a little uncomfortable, so Dohee asks, “Are you still upset, my little bird?”

“Yes,” was Felix’s prompt reply. Dohee thinks resignedly that she at least raised her kids well to be honest about their feelings. “Jisung and I were supposed to go hiking up the new forest trail we found along the river, but you took me away to meet with people I don’t know.”

“I didn’t take you away.”

“You _technically_ did.” Dohee sometimes regrets the day she taught Felix about that word.

“Okay, maybe I did, but you don’t have to keep your sulky attitude to me, little bird. _You_ promised me _first_ that you will accompany me to my friends’ place for the weekend while your papa and sister travel west to buy ingredients for the bakeshop.”

“But this is Jisung, mama. He’s my _best friend_.”

“And I am your _mama_. Does that not hold any meaning to you?” Felix didn’t answer right away, and Dohee unconsciously held her breath for his response.

“I just miss him,” Felix eventually admits quietly. “He was sick last week, so I couldn’t see him. I wanted to spend more time with him now that he’s better, but I still love you, mama.”

“And I love you, my little bird.” Dohee transfers the horse’s reins to one hand to run her hand through Felix’s hair comfortingly. “But there is that saying that absences make the heart grow fonder. And while it’s natural that you and Jisung love spending so much time together, you both need time to grow into your own individual selves.”

Felix took a moment to process her words before declaring, “I don’t understand, mama.”

Dohee couldn’t hold back her laughter. “When you’re older, my little bird. For now, just get comfortable in your seat because it will be a while before we arrive at the Yellow Woods.”

“Why did you even make me go with you?” Felix grumbled, but did exactly as she suggested. “Whenever we visited your other friends, they never had any kids my age so I’m always left alone while you do your adult science stuff. I’m going to be bored and that’s not fun.”

“You forgot what I said about my friend, didn’t you?”

His silence was answer enough.

Dohee cleared her throat, “Today, my little bird, we’re going to be visiting my classmate from school, Lee Byungwoo. Back when we still lived in the North, he would visit us sometimes. Do you remember the uncle that would always bring fresh berries during his visits?”

“The one who smells like a cat?” Felix asks in return.

“That’s him,” Dohee said, sending a wink. “He was supposed to start visiting more often when we moved to Levanter, but his wife got into an accident so he decided to start working at home. _And_ they have a kid two years older than you, so you won’t be alone while we do our adult science stuff.”

Felix suddenly turned shy, playing with the hem of his shirt while he thinks about what he has just been told. “But what if they don’t like me?”

“What if they do?” Dohee returns. “I told you that it’s normal for some people to not like you, right my little bird? It’s impossible to be liked by everyone. That’s just how life works.”

“A lot of people don’t like me,” he says simply, as if it was a fact of life. It breaks Dohee’s heart a little.

Felix had always taken after her in appearance and interest in the biological sciences, but his personality was more reserved and thoughtful like her husband’s. It led to a lot of the kids to ostracize him from their play dates because it just didn’t match well with whatever else they were doing. So it was no wonder that Felix had become so attached to Jisung—not only was there someone who didn’t make fun of his interests, they also encouraged it. It was to no-one’s surprise in their house that Felix was absolutely smitten for their neighbor. Dohee thought the bar was a little too low to warrant a crush, but there is no doubt that Jisung made Felix really happy, so she won’t interfere with their relationship.

(Not yet, at least.)

But now’s not the time to be talking about Jisung, Dohee thinks. This is about getting Felix excited at the possibility of making a new friend. There will be more than enough time to think about Jisung later.

“I think Minho will be different,” Dohee says casually. “From what Byungwoo has told me about Minho, you two seem to have very similar interests in plants and animals. Their house is also farther away from the rest of the town, and apparently Minho takes a lot of walks around the forest there.”

“That sounds nice,” Felix finally admits, unable to keep to himself. “It would be nice to make a new friend, but I’m still nervous about meeting them.”

“And that’s perfectly fine,” Dohee reassures. “It’s normal to feel nervous about trying something new, but you shouldn’t let it stop you from doing it. Just try it out for yourself before you make any final decisions, okay?”

Felix smiles sheepishly and leans his head to her side lightly. “Okay, mama.”

“Thank you, my little bird.”

Needless to say, Dohee and Felix travel back home the next day in a lighter atmosphere than the day before. Minho and Felix’s meeting couldn’t have gone any better; the two kids spent the entire weekend either outdoors exploring together or inside exchanging stories and interests. When it was time for Dohee and Felix to leave, the kids spent a long time hugging and exchanging farewells. It surprised even Byungwoo, who was glad to see his son finding someone he could genuinely connect with.

Felix wouldn’t stop talking about Minho even when they got home and Jisung stayed over for dinner.

“He’s just really so cool, Sungie!” Felix concluded after recounting everything that he experienced.

“You said that already,” was Jisung’s tense reply. It was rather unusual for the normally friendly and cheerful tone the Lee's would hear from him, but Jisung seemed to have been in a rather… disappointed mood ever since Felix started talking about his weekend adventure.

It was immensely entertaining.

Dohee and Cesar sent each other knowing looks and Eleanor coughed to hide her laughter, but Felix didn't notice. Kids really aren’t subtle at all with their emotions, at least to older people.

“Because he really is just that amazing!” Felix continues, eyes practically sparkling. “I can’t believe he’s only two years older than us! He knows so many things and taught me about many plants I didn’t even _know_ existed. He’s also really fast and really strong! I got really tired at the end of our hike, so Minho carried me and all of our stuff through the forest and got us back even before sunset.”

“I bet I can do that too if I tried.”

“No, Sungie, it’s impossible for you.”

RIP Han Jisung. Or his pride at least.

“Y-You don’t know that!” Jisung protested, face as red as their soup. “If he ever shows up here, I’ll challenge him to a battle!”

 _Kids are so up front_ , Dohee thinks to herself fondly. They’re really simple in that sense; it almost makes her wish she also studied more about psychology. Almost, but not quite.

Felix shook his head, “You will lose, Sungie.” As if it were a fact that Jisung had absolutely no chance of winning. Eleanor almost cracked up at that but managed to compose herself in time.

“Lixie,” Jisung whined loudly, “I thought you were _my_ best friend!”

“I _am_ your best friend.” Felix looked a little insulted that Jisung would think otherwise. “And as your best friend, I know you will lose and get really hurt.”

Jisung was going to argue and defend his damaged honor, but Felix suddenly held Jisung’s face gently with his two hands causing all words to seemingly die at the tip of his mouth.

“Sungie,” Felix’s voice was soft, but oh-so-serious, “I really don’t want you to get hurt. I like you too much. Please don’t fight Minho, okay?”

Eleanor had to bite the back of her hand to keep from making any sound, but Dohee thought it was a little rude and gently nudged her to control herself.

“Your hands are dirty. Let go, I don’t want to wash my hands again later.”

Ah, how simple is the life of kids. And hilarious too.

“Promise me this first, Sungie. Please? For me?”

The struggle was so obvious in Jisung’s eyes, and amusement filled the elders.

“Fine, I won’t fight him. Happy?”

Felix beamed, and the room turned a little brighter. “Yes, thank you!”

If Dohee overhears Jisung muttering reminders to himself about asking for fighting and muscle lessons from the older kids down the road, that was for only her to know and nobody else to find out about.

**thirteen.**

If you were to ask any of the kids who knew Lee Minho back at his hometown about him, they would call him a kind and smart person who gets along well with a lot of people. Some may even giggle with their reply as they compliment his looks.

(Read: he’s popular.)

But despite that, Minho only has a handful of people he could truly be his slightly-obsessive self about animals and the _other things_ that could get him labeled a heretic if anybody heard about it. One of these people Minho finds trustworthy is little Yongbok, who he has known for almost seven years now. Minho never expected their friendship to last as long as it did or even grow as much given their distance, but they somehow managed to keep contact constantly through letters and the occasional visits by the younger to his home.

Now it’s Minho doing the visiting.

That is, _if_ he can find Yongbok’s house first. The forest back home is easier to navigate, and it didn’t even have official roads. Disregarding all those lessons about not talking to strangers, Minho stops right in the middle of the road to look for someone to help him out. A few meters away was someone who looked his age walking with a book hugged securely to their chest.

 _They’ll do_ , Minho decides, already on the move. The person even looks like a squirrel. Nobody with cheeks like those could be rude, right?

“Excuse me,” the kid turns around with a little jump and Minho is quick to apologize, “sorry for scaring you, but I’m not from here and I got a little lost. I was wondering if you happened to know the way to Professor Lee Dohee’s house?” Not the specific person Minho was going to visit, but he figured most people would know a really smart professor more than their child. Spoken from experience.

The kid sent Minho an understanding smile then pointed towards a certain direction over their shoulder with their thumb, “I was actually on my way there too, so we can go together if you want.”

“Yes, please,” Minho quickly accepts and diligently follows the kid to their destination. Forget eyes, it’s now _cheeks_ that are a window to a person’s soul. “Thanks for helping me out. I was losing my mind over what to do if I couldn’t find the house.”

“It’s fine, I understand that it can be very confusing around here for newcomers,” the kid waves him off casually. “My best friend got lost around town many times too when his family first moved here.”

“Sounds like quite an adventure.”

“We were only four or five at the time, so _yeah_ , it was an experience.”

They continue to chat about the randomest things all throughout their walk. Minho somewhat prides in his ability to maintain and lead conversations with people, but the kid—Jisung, he finds his name out later in their conversation, was just someone he just naturally clicked with. He didn’t bat at Minho’s normally-perceived harsh commentary and would just laugh at go along with the joke. There was also a small incident where Minho got distracted by a shop owner who was selling a purple plant Minho himself has only seen in textbooks, but Jisung didn’t get annoyed with him.

Jisung’s a really nice kid, Minho finally admits as they knock on the door to the Lee house.

“You’re a cool person, Jisung. I can now see why Yongbokie wanted us to meet,” Minho said aloud. “And why Yongbokie _really_ likes you.”

Minho hummed to himself, recalling his words mentally. _Was that too obvious? I hope it wasn't too much or else Yongbok might never forgive me_. 

Jisung looked at him in surprise. "Wait, what?"

 _Okay,_ Minho thinks a little remorsefully, _maybe it was a little over the top_.

Before he could go and try to pass it off as a joke, Jisung continues, “How do you know Lixie? Aren’t you here for Auntie—I mean, Professor Dohee?”

That made Minho frown. He had thought for sure that Jisung was going to deny the feelings allegations, but Jisung ended up more focused on the fact that Minho knew Yongbok. Before he could respond though, the door suddenly swung open and there stood Yongbok, pouting like his life depended on it.

“Sungie, you’re late. We were supposed to hang out right after lunch time.” That got Jisung to momentarily change his attention to the youngest of the trio in order to defend himself.

“It’s not my fault my errand took long to finish! Besides, this is only the first time I’ve ever been late. If I got a coin for every time _you_ were late—”

“Most of those were because I got lost and I was five at the oldest!” Yongbok whined, somehow pouting even further than Minho thought was humanly possible.

Amazing; Yongbok exceeds all levels of adorableness. He could even see Jisung faltering with his own rebuttal (understandable, really).

“Well, this time it’s not even entirely my fault. I got held up at the market.”

“What were you doing at the market?”

“And _that_ would be my fault,” Minho interjects, finally speaking up and making his presence known. “I saw a purple spider plant and just _had_ to ask about it.” Jisung was still looking at him with suspicion, but Minho focused on Yongbok who was speechlessly staring with wide eyes. Minho grinned cheekily and said with a little dazzle with his hands, “Surprise, Yongbokie! I finally visited _you_ for a change.”

That snapped Yongbok back to reality, he let out an almost ear-piercing scream, _“Oh my_ _—_ _Minho!”_ before launching himself at the elder. Thankfully Minho had fast reflexes and managed to steady himself before they tumbled down the steps of the house.

He was about to lightly reprimand Yongbok when the latter said in wondrous disbelief, “You’re actually _here!_ When you said we had to stop writing letters for a while, I got sad and missed you. But then you surprise me with this and I’m just so happy right now!”

And Minho really just can’t scold him after _that._

Chuckling, “I missed you too, Bokie.”

“Wait,” Jisung’s incredulous voice brought the two out of their little world, “ _you’re_ Lee Minho? Lixie’s friend from Yellow Wood, Minho?”

Bemused, Minho replied with a simple, “Yeah. I actually thought you already pieced it together when I mentioned my name and hometown. I apologize if you thought I was keeping a secret from you.”

Jisung shook his head, brows furrowing. “No, I just,” his expression suddenly turned sour much, “didn’t expect you to be like… this, I guess.”

“Like what?” 

Jisung flushed an embarrassed pink and looked away with a huff. “It’s not important, just ignore it.”

Yongbok seemed to accept the excuse because ‘Sungie wouldn’t _not_ tell him if it was important,’ but Minho wasn’t oblivious enough to accept such an answer. There’s definitely something more going on with that—with _them,_ the wonder duo extraordinaire. But, then again, Minho _was_ only fifteen, so he has no business _or_ interest in interfering with little Yongbok’s love life, thank you very much.

“What were your plans for the afternoon again?”

What a change in conversation topic. Presenting: Lee Minho, expert conversationalist, everyone. Give him a round of applause.

“Sungie and I were just going to hang out in my room because he said he had something to show me,” Yongbok said, finally pulling himself away from Minho. “How long will you be in town?”

“I only planned to stay for a few hours, unfortunately,” Minho replied almost apologetically. “I was hoping to get a few hours to talk and catch up because I have business to attend to at Miroh District tomorrow. But I can wait to tell you later tonight instead over dinner so I don’t interrupt your time with Jisung. I’ll just leave before sunrise tomorrow so I can still make it in time for my schedule."

“Actually,” Jisung spoke up, “I’m fine if we postpone our hang-out to tomorrow or even on a later date, Lixie. We see each other practically everyday, but Minho and you only get every other month or so and only for a few days. It can wait, I promise.”

Minho was impressed, to say the least. Even he’s not sure if he could just give up scheduled bonding time like that if he were in Jisung’s shoes, but he really appreciates the latter’s selflessness.

Yongbok still looked hesitant to agree (rightfully so). “But Sungie…”

“Lixie, I’m fine,” Jisung tucks the book under his armpit so he can hold his friend’s hand in reassurance. The smile he directed to Yongbok was so soft that Minho felt as if he was intruding on something. “Go have fun with Minho. I know how much you love spending time with him, and I don't want to take that from you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

There was another short pause, but Yongbok eventually relented with a sigh. “Okay, Sungie. I’ll see you for lunch?”

“Of course,” Jisung squeezed Yongbok’s shoulder once more reassuringly. “I’ll go now, then. It was nice to finally meet you, Minho.”

“Likewise, Jisung.” And after exchanging a quick hand shake and a few more words, Jisung walked down the steps and ventured into his own house. Yongbok wanted to wait until he saw that Jisung made it safely inside his own house before ushering Minho inside.

“So Jisung’s nice,” Minho says as they both went straight for the dining table. “I think if I had met him earlier, I would have wanted to start writing to him too.” He took a seat near the corner just as Yongbok walked past towards the kitchen and began preparing for an afternoon snack for them two.

“I’m glad,” Yongbok beamed at him over his shoulder. “Nothing makes me happier than knowing my two favorite people get along well. You can still write to him, if you want. You can even send it the same time as you send mine so you don’t have to waste extra money on delivery, I promise not to look at your letters. Do you want tea or milk with pastries today?”

“Milk please, thank you. And that’s nice of you to offer, Yongbokie, but there’s actually another reason why I won’t be able to write letters any time soon.”

Yongbok frowned, “Oh? What is it?” He placed two glasses filled with milk and a plate of pastries on the table before taking a seat.

 _Well,_ Minho adjusts himself in his seat, _no point in beating around the bush._

“I’m enlisting in the Cadet Corps,” Minho reveals. “The Southern Cadet Corps, to be precise. The Eastern Cadet Corps facility may have been closer to my hometown, but the training in Miroh District is better suited for those who wanted to join the Survey Corps. The reason I haven’t been able to write lately was because I was travelling back and forth to settle my application and temporary living quarters while in training. Our welcoming orientation is going to be held tomorrow, after which I will be busy with training so I’m not sure I’ll have the time or energy to write to you.”

“Oh,” Felix blinked slowly in surprise, “that's big news.”

“Yeah, it is. I was waiting for the right moment to tell you, but it was sort of a last-minute decision, and I didn’t think it would have been fair if I just wrote one letter about all of this.”

“That’s very considerate of you, thank you,” Yongbok breathed, seemingly processing everything Minho just unloaded to him. “I had no idea you were thinking about enlisting, though. I thought you were going to enrol in our parents’ old school and become a researcher like them.”

“That was the first plan, yes,” admitted Minho. “But you of all people know that there’s something I want to do more than study animals.” Yongbok seemed to come back to his senses at that.

He locked eyes with Minho and whispered, “You want to see what was outside the walls.”

They whisper and barely talk about this even within the safety of their own homes, because you can never be too sure who might end up accidentally hearing about it. To go outside the walls with all the titans and who knows what else could be out there? No sane person would want to do that. Minho and Yongbok themselves have only ever talked about this in their secret hideouts in the forests of Yellow Wood, after making sure nobody was following them. You can never be too cautious.

“Exactly,” Minho agrees. “There’s so much we don’t know yet about the titans, and this fact is keeping us from winning against them. I want to join the Survey Corps because not only do they get to make outside expeditions, they have a specialized team that’s focused on doing research about the titans. I am terrified to be facing humanity’s enemies, but I know I will regret it more if I just let myself live the rest of my life within these walls and not make a move to see out of it.”

Silence hung over them for a while before Yongbok reached over the table and gently held Minho’s left hand with his right, “Hey,” Yongbok smiled at Minho, and the world got a little bit brighter, “I’m happy you finally found the courage to go do what you’ve always wanted to do. I’ll pray every day for your safety and success in your training, and I’ll pray even harder for you everyday when you finally venture outside the walls.”

 _This is why I really like Yongbokie_ , Minho thinks as he places his other hand on top and returns the smile. Yongbok is non-judgemental and only wishes for the best to happen to people. Truly, an angel in disguise.

But Minho wasn’t done with his piece. And this next part was the hardest to talk about.

“There’s also another thing I wanted to talk about.”

Yongbok tilted his head in confusion at the sudden shift to nervousness in Minho’s tone. “What is it?”

“I want you to join me.”

—

**twenty-five.**

Yang Jeongin has woken up many times before without realizing he had fallen asleep. It was more frequent in his first year in the Cadet Corps, but he has since learned to have a better control of managing his sleeping schedule and pattern. The awful habit only came back since the reveal that he could somehow _shift into a titan_ —the very things he swore to kill and eradicate off the world (he still can’t believe that it’s a real thing, honestly, but that's for another time).

Like right now; he woke with a start.

Jeongin found himself on his back facing a yellow-orange sky. He’s riding on the back of a carriage, his mind supplied, upon noticing the clouds moving above him and the constant gentle rumbling of the surface. His head appeared to be bandaged tight, and his entire body tucked underneath a blanket of some sorts—or was it the scout’s uniform cloak? He can’t exactly see from his angle, and moving around hurts a little too much.

“Jeongin?”

 _Who_ _—_ _?_

“Jeongin, can you hear me?”

Jeongin tilted his head to the left where he heard the voice come from. Kneeling beside him was Section Commander Minho’s assistant, the really beautiful senior soldier with freckles—

“Vice Captain,” Jeongin croaked out, “Felix?”

A relieved smile, “Yes, that’s me. Do you remember your full name?”

“Y-Yang Jeongin, sir.”

“And your hometown?”

“Siyam District of Wall Maria.”

“Good. Do you have an idea of where you are, soldier?”

“Outside Wall Rose?” Jeongin answered, a little unsure. But as he spoke, the more details and recent memories came back to him. “T-The Survey Corps was conducting an expedition with the new recruits.”

“Good, good.” Vice Captain Felix’s voice turned strained, but Jeongin figured it was from fatigue. “What was the last thing you remember?”

The last thing he remembered?

Cut. Bite. Crush. _Splat_ _—_

Jeongin suddenly sat up gasping staccato breaths as the memories of the day quickly came back to him. 

“Vice Captain Felix,” Jeongin turned desperately to the senior soldier, who gave almost no visible outward reaction to the sudden change in Jeongin’s demeanor, simply waiting for him to finish speaking. “W-where’s the Female Titan?”

“She got away.” The answer came quickly and automatically, as if the Vice Captain himself had been expecting it.

“But the mission—?”

“A failure,” Vice Captain Felix said with a hint of finality in his tone. “The Commander ordered a retreat as soon as we regrouped and did a headcount.”

“Failed,” Jeongin repeated softly, almost under his breath. “Retreat. After everything that happened? Then for what did all our comrades— _my squad mates_ —”

He was cut off.

_“JEONGIN’S AWAKE!”_

_“Wait, what_ — _OH MY GOD!”_

“Oi! Beomgyu and Ryujin go back to your positions—”

_“Yang FUCKING Jeongin!”_

“ _Innie, thank the heavens you’re okay!”_

_“Damn you, you suicidal BLOCKHEAD!”_

“Hold on, all of you—Oh, I give up.”

Jeongin turned his head instinctively to the direction where the voices of his friends came from. They were all coming on horseback to ride side-by-side along the carriage. The first to reach his vicinity where his two childhood friends, Ryujin and Beomgyu, of course, but their classmates weren’t far behind.

“Thank goodness you’re okay, you had us worried!”

“Speak for yourself, Yedam. I wasn’t worried about that suicidal titan maniac.”

“Oh yeah? Then how come I seem remember that it was _you_ who screamed bloody murder for the medics when Captain Bang Chan and Ryujin came back with Jeongin’s body, Kai.”

“S-Shut up, Yuna! You just heard wrong!”

“Jeongin, how are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he managed to reply after a beat. His head was a bit slow to process after everything that came at him in both literal and figurative sense of the word. Thankfully Vice Captain Felix was right there and noticed his discomfort.

“Alright, rookies,” he addressed all of Jeongin’s classmates in his deep voice, “back down and return to formation. We’ll be arriving in Miroh District soon. You can have your class reunion when we arrive and settle down for the day, understood?”

And while Jeongin’s class was notorious for being headaches to superior officers (instructors especially), Vice Captain Felix was more known to be someone you never want to cross. Anybody who could last as Section Commander Minho’s assistant is someone to be both respected and intimidated by.

“I saw you wince when your classmates’ voices got louder,” said Vice Captain Felix, dismissing Jeongin’s protests when the older urged him to lie back down. “Rest, Jeongin. Whatever questions you have can wait until after you recover.” Jeongin won’t admit it, but he was a little grateful to be ordered to rest; his head was throbbing with so much pain.

But he still wanted (needed) to ask.

“Vice Captain Felix,” Jeongin pleaded, just as his eyes were shutting, “what of my squad?”

“That can wait until after you recover, Jeongin.” Vice Captain Felix insisted, looking at him right in the eyes. “Some things are already out of our hands, and we can’t do anything about it. We just have to focus on what we can and _should_ do, and keep going forward from there. Okay?”

Jeongin wanted to believe him, that it’s not important enough to discuss right now, that it could all wait when they’ve recovered. He wants to believe him. But it was hard when Vice Captain Felix’s eyes were red and shiny with unshed tears.

—


End file.
